Of all the things I imagined going wrong with my wedding, this wasn’t one of them. I had backup plans for almost everything. I had a plan for rain, a plan for delayed transport, a plan for surprise guest allergies. I was the woman with the plans! The day was pretty perfect; everything was running smoothly, the ceremony had been the right balance of emotional and modern and the reception was boozy enough but not ridiculous. The party was ridiculous, as it was intended to be. I really thought we had pulled it off at that point. As the guests started to peter out I turned to Andy and said, we’re married, and our wedding wasn’t a disaster’.

He gave me the look he gives me when he knows he has to confess to having done something wrong. So, it turns out we were being whisked away to our honeymoon in his work truck, complete with aluminium trays! Melbourne doesn’t have enough car hire companies apparently. I left him one job. He forgot to arrange us a car to take us home and so parked right outside our wedding was his big metal truck. The toolbox on the back clanking around as we set off for Rome was not the ideal soundtrack to complement my wedding high. I never really imagined stuffing my big white dress into a ute filled with screwdrivers and bolts, but there you go, we can’t all get what we want. The funniest thing is, Andy was actually a little insulted that I wasn’t more impressed with his newly installed aluminium ute canopy, from the best company in Melbourne apparently. He said it was his pride and joy and he was sad that I didn’t join in with his glory. I told him on any other day I would happy to drive around in his enlarged toolbox but not on my wedding day in the most expensive dress I will ever wear in my life!

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