When the snowman brings the snow, well…you just might like to know: he puts a great big smile upon somebody’s face.

Not here though. We’re sadly relegated to a hot and dusty Christmas in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Here we sit on the edge of the outback, in a town of a hundred, isolated from anywhere interesting. You’d think since everyone knows everybody else’s name, we’d all get together for a big old Christmas party or something. Nope! Mrs Renshaw doesn’t even decorate the town hall, even though she keeps a draconian watch over absolutely everything else that goes on in there.

It’s just SO provincial. The biggest news of the entire year was Sheila Bryant going off to the big smoke in Sydney, doing a dry needling course. Everyone in town reacted like she’d come back and started brewing potions, and casting spells. Dry needling is ‘new’ and ‘fangled’ and ‘new-fangled’, it would seem, so the people of Jurumbee are suspicious of it. Some people here still get their water from a well and think that the internet is a secret government plot to steal your soul, so the fact that Sheila is now making a career out of something they’ve never even heard of is scaring everyone stiff.

I wonder how long it’ll be before Jurumbee gets dry needling? I’m going to say…never. Like, not at all. I was shocked when we actually got internet, although it’s still deathly dial-up speeds. It takes the nearest internet technician two hours door-to-door to get here and fix any problems, and yet there are so many that I’ve basically become the town’s resident technology fixer-upper.

But dry needling, eh? I bet Mrs Renshaw thinks that it’s some kind of advanced bush magic. Doesn’t matter that Sheila Renshaw is one of the only people around here with some sense. I should take a leaf and move to Sydney. I’d surely be casting off the trust of the community, but…whatever. Do dry needling courses do group bookings in Sydney? We could get the whole town in on it, make it our first actual community event. Now wouldn’t THAT be something…

-Carlos

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