Children, Respect the Bubble

I usually try to maintain a strict no-child bubble. As in, no children may come within about two feet of me. They very rarely respect this, because children have zero special awareness and are just continually bumping into my legs and whatever else, but the important thing is that I have standards. They’re never actually met, but the standard is indeed there.

And then last night I was offered up to babysit, so thanks MUM. I live independently and Mum doesn’t know my schedule, but Ian and Sandra needed someone to look after Jacqui, so sure, I’m available! I’ll cancel everything! Jacqui is an aspiring hairdresser, as it turns out. I asked what she wanted to do once I got there, and she said that she was available for hair appointments in South Melbourne, because that’s where she’d opened her salon, right next to the school. I had no use for any of that information, but sure.

I was the only person in the house, so naturally, I became the hair salon client. And I don’t even have much hair to work with, so I already felt pretty stupid. Plus, having Jacqui work on my hair was a clear and constant violation of my bubble. Couldn’t even sit on a chair, either, since that was too high for her. I just sat on the floor while a relatively unqualified hairdresser ‘cut’ my hair with safety scissors. Thankfully that was all pretend, aside from one curl near my ear.

Though in terms of hair salon person banter, it definitely wasn’t too bad. Clearly the girl had been to a hairdresser and heard what they said, so we talked about what I did for work, where I’m going on my holidays, and then how I manage to keep my hair so soft (papaya). She called me ‘darl’ a few times as well. Very authentic.

Okay, so it wasn’t the worst experience. I didn’t even have to do anything. And if I ever DO make a hair appointment with a South Melbourne hair salon, I’ll have all my conversation topics prepared, surely. I don’t know what scares me more: babysitting or small talk with strangers.

-Lewis

Television…or Streaming?

What to do, in this new and exciting information age? I like television…but I also like streaming…but can I have both?

Neat-Flicks has my absolute favourite show of all time, Fiends. It’s the one about the six mortal enemies living near each other in Toronto, and getting into wacky, day-to-day adventures while actually hating each other quite a lot. But then, I can’t really watch live sporting events on streaming, because someone thought it would be a good idea not to invent that yet. Plus, you get to witness television events, and the GF really likes it for Week of Our Lives, so…

I guess we need to get onto that antenna then. Antenna repair company in Melbourne work at a reasonable rate, and it’s not like regularly scheduled programming is going away any time soon. Like digital radio, television just got better. Not that I’ve had it for a while, but I was cat-sitting over the weekend and they said “hey, turn the television on, Jester really likes the sound”, and I did. Their Wi-Fi was down, so I started flicking through the channels and I didn’t even make it through all of them before I had to go. How many channels are there nowadays? Why do we need twenty-six different news channels, and who’s making all the shows about trucks driving long distances? Who’s making any of this stuff? Although that one about people driving on ice was flipping wild. SO stressful to watch, but it kept me on the edge of my seat, for sure.

TV has definitely moved on to the point where there’s actually something to watch at any time of day, while streaming…streaming is just great in a totally different way. And then there’s Week of Our Lives, and I’m definitely not getting out of that one, so…guess I’m springing for Melbourne’s best antenna installation, AND a subscription to Neat-Flicks. Gotta have my Fiends.

-Raquelle Greene

Laser Focus

My sister gave me a voucher for laser hair removal for Christmas… what are you trying to say, sis? Nah, I’m joking; we agreed to gift the same thing to each other and go for the treatment together. Basically, we added up the amount we both spend on professional waxing treatments in a year and decided we might as well invest in a more permanent hair removal solution – we’ve been doing it for so long (since the 80s!) that it’s hardly like we’re going to stop any time soon.

Here in Melbourne, laser hair removal clinics are quite easy to come by, so we weren’t too sure how to narrow down which one to use. We ended up going with a recommendation from a mate who’d had a good experience with the whole thing. This person also has a brother who’d gone to the same team’s Bendigo clinic for anti-wrinkle injections and been happy with the outcome. So the referral looks pretty solid.

Anyway, we haven’t done the deed yet – what with the runaround of the holidays and then getting back to work, we just haven’t been able to line up a time when we’re both free. The other thing is that you’re not supposed to have waxed for a month before having the treatment, so there’s that. I’m a little bit nervous about it because I’ve always had quite sensitive skin, but I’ve been assured by the clinic that the cosmetic technology they use is designed to minimise irritation and that my skin should be all good if it stands up to waxing.

Our mum has always been a bit funny about our sisterly hair removal obsession – in her day, she tells us, it just wasn’t a thing. Interestingly, our teenage daughters aren’t wild about it either; the people in their social circles just don’t get down with it. That’s just fine with us, but like I said, we’ve been doing it for so long that we’re not about to stop any time soon – so bring on the lasers!

The Lemur Sanctuary, Revived!

You’d be surprised by how much legal jargon is involved in setting up a lemur sanctuary, even if it’s just the sanctuary…moving. As in, we’re moving to a new place. Yep, the Lemur Sanctuary is saved! Honestly, I think the Keymore location is what was dragging us down a bit, being on the outskirts and all. Now we’re in a conveniently abandoned zoo-type area that we got for an absolute steal, and it’s a hop, skip and a jump away from the CBD. Everything worked out perfectly.

Of course, I’ve had to help out Sofia dealing with the business lawyers. Seriously, I know it’s Lawrence Corp and everything, but it’s like they’ve found every business lawyer office in Melbourne and got them to come and check out all the sponsorship details. I guess they are a business, and quite a big one. Makes sense that they want the business law to be top-notch.

Speaking of lawyers, we sure have been seeing a lot of them recently. Turns out that buying an old zoo isn’t as easy as a normal house. Fortunately Sofia had some connections in the property law world, the same ones she used to get us the old sanctuary. So it’s been Monday speaking to Lawrence Corp and their business lawyers, then property lawyers the day afterwards, and then another property law meeting with the shareholders, and another one with the business lawyers on Thursday to iron out the legality of the branding.

So we’ll soon be re-opening as ‘World of Lemurs, Brought to You by Lawrence Corp’. It’s wordy, but apparently all the official branding is going to just be World of Lemurs, or ‘WOL’. I like it a little bit better than just ‘Lemur Sanctuary’. It’s been a long, stressful road, but we pulled through. The new facility is great, the staff are happy, and I can now tell you every commercial law firm operating in Melbourne, because wow, meetings. A necessary evil, I guess.

-Lance