Speed Demon

My brother Jimmy has always been a bit on the extreme side, and I can’t help but feel like it’s becoming worse as he approaches his forties. In particular, he seems to have developed a habit of getting on the highway purely for purposes of riding the spee ...

Health First

I need to put my foot down about something. Here it is: burning yourself into the ground is not a viable way to live. I mean, it might work swimmingly in the short term, but that’s not how I assess these things. I plan to live happily to a ripe old age wi ...

Working Hard

Today in tasks that someone’s gotta do: being flown (business class, mind you) to every capital city in the country to critique the ‘fun factor’ of each of the company’s state offices. Why this was assigned to me, I can’t say. It seems like a bit of a fil ...

The Grand Opening

Things around Melbourne certainly are a lot more exciting than they used to be. Time was that you could come to this city, and ask the locals what to do, and there would be stuff, don’t get me wrong...just not much. Send them to Fed Square, get them to dr ...

Wind and Wheels

Sometimes I have this weird dream where I'm driving along the ocean floor, and it's wonderful. I roll down the window and say hello to all the fish, and sometimes I stop at the drive-through to get myself a delicious smoothie, made from seaweed. It's a se ...

Evil Cars?

Her-Bla has gone too far this time. I’m not even someone who's massively into cars, and even I thought that the Her-Bla Christmas special was way off the rails. Well, I call it a Christmas special, but they never used the words in the show. Not PC enough. ...

Just Anchor Winches

I can’t even keep up with all these cooking simulators. First it was career simulators, and they’re still going strong, but now people are making sims for everything. This is exactly the type of thing that makes the elderly nervous about the coming techno ...

True Home Awareness

I'm starting to think I should write a book or something. Like, I've unlocked a new way of thinking, and I can be one of those people who goes on Six Twee Minutes and tells everyone how to think. And then I'd be that guy who goes into bookshops and offers ...

Cubicle Culprit

Someone has been stealing my desk paraphernalia. It started off with just a pen here, a pad of sticky notes there. Now I’ve discovered that someone has made off with my custom keyboard, along with my in-tray - like, the tray itself, which was a really nic ...

Not My Son

So Billie keeps saying that he’s my brother and that the kid is my son, which is just silly. Billie obviously hasn’t read the script properly, because while there may be some romantic undertones to Mavis’ interactions with the character of Mikhail (tha ...