This whole Olympic anthem competition might still be going on, but I personally think that I can do better. It’s always struck me as odd that individual cities don’t have anthems. Like…do people just not take the time to write them? There are loads of songs about New York, a few about London, and I think there was a band in the 70s that made one about Moscow, but that’s pretty much it. The one about spending a night in Bangkok doesn’t count, because it’s talking about chess.
But really, just think about all the wonderful things that could be said about Melbourne in song. Its many great rivers, the shopping centres, and the big shiny buildings in the centre. I can’t confirm it, but the office interior design professionals in Melbourne have to be some of the best in world, I think, probably. We convened on the subject at the cafe, which we do every Thursday night in order to listen to the voices and songs of the universe, and we spent a few hours specifically sending positive vibes towards all the people who work in offices. Those many, strange, unknowable people for whom the terms ‘open plan’ and ‘water cooler conversation’ means so much more than they ever will for us. We cannot understand their ways, but I know that office design exists, because my friend Jemima works in one and she said that office fitouts changed her flippin’ life. They had to move offices for a little bit while theirs was being finished, but after that, it was all downhill for their company. They quartered the finances, and they sold the things and gained the many Dow Jones index points, probably.
My anthem needs to encompass ALL of these things. Music, coffee, rivers, and large office buildings with the best office fitouts available. Melbourne is an amazing place. Even the universe is vouching for it.