Nothing brings people together quite like a weddings, even if they don’t WANT to come together! I’ve been planning weddings for sixteen years, and for a couple of those I had my own TV show on channel 46. You might remember Big Day With Dave? It became pretty famous at one point when one of our brides threw tantrum, threw the cake out the window and threw her fiancé into a pool. Then jumped in and tried to strangle him. The show was cancelled after we tried to arrange a marriage between a llama and a mentally ill woman, but I feel like I’ve learned a few lessons from then. And since then, I’ve just been planning weddings, nice and simple with a bit of Dave-style flair.
Of course, having been in the business for so long, I’m a master of the trade. Need a function room available in Melbourne at a moment’s notice? Oh, I’ll find it for you in half a moment. Want a cake shaped like a moose-hound, even though they’ve never been photographed in captivity? It’s just a google search away. Trust me, I’ve heard it all; in fact, I often like to challenge my new clients to surprise me. One couple wanted their function room decked out like an ice cave, and that was where they were having the ceremony. Once they got to the end and they were properly married, a giant model boulder was supposed to drop from the ceiling and they’d have to race to the exit without it crushing them. There was no actual danger, but seeing them dressed as explorers dashing down the aisle, being pursued by a massive fake rock…oh, it brought a tear to my eye. The place later complained about the actual oil-soaked torches, but I’m happy to pass the blame on that one. I can only make suggestions; if the soon-to-be happy couple have something in mind, then it’s practically out of my hands!
There you have it, folks. Challenges all accepted, because I want to make your big day even bigger than you could possible imagine! Though I would appreciate you respecting the safety measures. Knowing all of Melbourne’s corporate venue rooms isn’t all that useful when none of them want me back!