My mother in law Stephanie has very nearly arrived for the holiday season. I’ve spent the last three weeks in a sweat preparing for it, but I needn’t have gone overboard. What I didn’t think I’d need in the last minutes of preparation, was to find Melbourne’s fastest glazier.
Stephanie was hailing a cab and would be here at any moment. This meant that a last minute swoop ( because seventieth impressions truly count) was needed. Naturally, disaster struck. I was dusting the guest room (Stephanie is highly allergic to dust) and I knocked my favourite ceramic planter off the dresser with my elbow. In addition to spraying potting mix everywhere, the planter jettisoned into the bedroom window, leaving a spidery, stretching crack through the glass.
I felt my heart rate jack up to threat-mode. I’m normally terrible in stressful situations, but these kind of conditions created the perfect storm. Racing to plug in the vacuum cleaner, I reached for my phone to find the residential glazing team we’d had to replace our balustrade last year. The gods were on my side that day, they would be here within a few short hours.
I raced around with the vacuum, thinking of ways to distract Stephanie from the fact that I’d all but thrown a pot plant through the window at the thought of her arriving.
A knock at the door snapped me out of my racing thoughts, and I opened to the door to Stephanie who air kissed my cheek and immediately announced how tired she was.
“A terrible flight. I’ve a raging stress headache.”
“I’ll get you a big glass of water!” I almost yelled.
“Water won’t do much. Turbulence shakes me to the core.”
“How about a gin and tonic?” I suggested, a little too brightly- and thankfully she leapt at the offer. Just as I’d poured the drinks, the glazier arrived. Leaving Stephanie to the particularly strong drink, I showed the glazier to the cracked window, I then returned to the living room, where Stephanie sat, reclined and fast asleep, a half finished G&T on the coffee table.