The Grand Opening

Things around Melbourne certainly are a lot more exciting than they used to be. Time was that you could come to this city, and ask the locals what to do, and there would be stuff, don’t get me wrong…just not much. Send them to Fed Square, get them to drink some coffee, and you’re like 50% done. You could see a really expensive show, I guess?

Now you’ve got options. You can go to the Lemur Sanctuary, or take a trip to the Ladder Museum, or wander through the Hall of Lights. And if you still need a show, there’s always Andy Boyd-Snebber’s Tats, the musical about pain-intolerant wimps all deciding to get tattoos.

And now, there’s the National Museum of Kitchen Design and Renovation. I always knew Melbourne’s kitchen renovations were the best in the country, and now I have proof. They don’t have a kitchen design museum in Sydney, now do they? They don’t have a Lemur Sanctuary either, but the fact that Melbourne is just objectively better than Sydney in every way is beside the point. The actual point is that I’m going to be there on opening night for the big Kitchen Renovation Celebration. I HAVE to be there, because I’ve been following the Instant-Gram posts of Melbourne’s best kitchen interior designers since they discovered the platform. I’m their number one fan, hence why I host the blog Designer Dining, where I showcase the very best of kitchen designs and renovations across the city. And that’s why I…didn’t get an invitation, but that’s fine, I can show up anyway. I’m sure they’ll know who I am at the door. Like, ‘it’s me, the guy who posts all the kitchen photos, and supports the work of kitchen renovators, until my dying breath?’

Yeah, that’ll be the line. And then a little huffy shrug, as if I can’t believe they don’t know who I am. I have to be there, so that means I’ll pretend that I should be there.



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